If you’ve been living in your home for quite some time, there’s a good chance that the household appliances you bought when you moved in are becoming outdated and anachronistic. Unfortunately, as we tend to focus more on day-to-day concerns such as our jobs and family, we don’t have time to keep up with all the latest developments in the world of technology. As a result of this we may be settling for second or third best when we do our thing at home. Simple tasks may take us twice as long and use more energy than if we had upgraded.
Obsolete contraptions can be found in any part of the house and that includes the kitchen. More than a decade ago, big, clumsy-looking toaster ovens which look like they were built by Skynet landed in kitchens around the world, providing a new talking point for visitors. Years later, we all know what these eyesores are and wonder why people still have them at all. If you’re one of those people who is still stuck in the noughties, then get with the teenies and sling out that metal beast and get a smart oven which will match the soft cream of everything else in your kitchen.
Still in the kitchen, we see people using strange combinations of plastic bags, boxes and garbage cans to separate their trash for recycling. That’s just ugly and complicated and still ends up with confusion about which bag is which and which box is for what. Stop living in the past and get yourself a garbage compartmentalizer which will sort your recycling for you, making it much easier for you to throw things out without thinking and not having to worry about getting your recycling mixed up.
If you allow yourself a little pat on the back and a sly grin at how smart you are for using a cordless drill when you’re in your workshop – wipe of that stupid grin right away, because the joke is on you, old timer. Everyone knows that cordless drills are so passé these days and it’s all about impact drivers these days. If you haven’t already, you simply have to try one for yourself, right this minute!
Another thing is those not-quite smart gadgets that used to cost $200 but you can now pick up for loose change. You know you are so not with it if you listen to a DAB radio and if you still go on about your flatscreen TV. Nobody is interested as those products are so yesterday and nobody with any self-respect would be seen dead anywhere near them. You have simply got to get with the program and drop some notes on a fully-integrated smart entertainment system with voice activation and a transparent, concave screen.
Some smartypants installed remote control lighting when Justin Bieber was still in diapers but still hasn’t upgraded it. Straight to the bottom of the class! Using remote control lighting is the technological equivalent of bringing up The Sopranos or even Friends in hip conversation. Today, natural lighting is so where it’s at in fact one could say that natural light is the new black. Leave behind your prehistoric ways and get yourself an awesome skylight put into every room.
Do you still deal with your anger by slamming doors, drawers and cupboards? Did you realize that everybody else is almost certainly laughing at you under their breath? There’s nothing more entertaining than to provoke a ‘slammer’ and then sit back to enjoy the show. You might even be a YouTube star, you don’t know. Well get into the modern age of psychological warfare – you don’t have to stop slamming at all, but let out all of that rage and let roller runners and hinge adapters absorb all of your negative energy, slowing the force down to give a smooth close. Your antagonists will soon be treading on tiptoes in fear of their lives around you, fearing that the slamming has stopped because you have finally flipped and you are now plotting their demise and disposal.
Wherever you look, you’ll probably be able to find items that need to be upgraded. Cancel any dinner invitations you have given out until you can get things straight, but be sure to accept any invitations you receive and take the opportunity to scour others’ houses for ways in which you might be behind. With dedication, you can drag yourself out of your bygone era and into the here and now.